Why Is It So Hard For Some People To Apologize And Own Up To Their Mistakes And Flaws?



“To Err is human, to forgive is Divine”

As goes the popular saying. Humans are programmed to make mistakes every now and then. Nature has incorporated errors and failures in our design since the begining of mankind. All of us are destined to make mistakes, misinterpret situations and disappoint other people throughout our lives. Try as you might, but none of us can reach a level of absolute perfection.

Now some mistakes that we make on a regular basis are small and naïve such as bumping into someone while walking down a hallway, or spilling a drink. However sometimes we make enormous blunders, that can have dire consequences on ourselves and the people around us. Some faults of the past stay ingrained within your memory for the rest of your life.

In reality, making mistakes is inevitable, yet we don’t seem to acknowledge it very well. Whether it was the lack of knowledge, societal pressures, boiling emotions, silly misunderstanding, or poor communication skills, all of these can contribute to our mistakes.

I believe that the long debate of why do we do wrong to others is not the problem, rather how we respond to ourselves and others once the deed is done because mistakes don’t define you as person, they don’t label you as a good or bad person. It’s your reaction that you manifest toward your mistakes that shows your true values and character.

For instance I’m a person who acknowledges my shortcomings and strengths. If I’m wrong in any situation, I will make it up to that person no matter what. Whether its apologizing or admitting that yes, I was wrong. I will always admit my fault.

However a lot of self centered people refuse to acknowledge the mistakes they make and the disappointment they cause to others, even when they are solely responsible for it.

Dr. Tim Sharp, happiness expert, states that non apologetic people have this inflated ego within themselves that they refuse to let go of. They think of themselves as absolute perfectionists that can not do anything wrong, and this makes it much more difficult for them to man up to their faults. Unnecessary expectations and lack of sympathy towards others are key factors in this kind of behavior.



For others, like myself, it’s impossible to even think of not apologizing when I hurt someone because no matter how I look upfront, deep down within the realms of my conscience self, I know that my actions destroyed the trust of someone. I shattered something that was valuable, I tarnished my image and reputation and bought hurt and grief in the process. I could never have the guts to move ahead without taking full responsibility for my actions and making it up to the people who suffered because of me.

So how exactly do these people conveniently move on with their lives and never admit their shortcomings?

The answer is EGO. Their self proclaimed sense of self.

These people lack the basic traits of self love and self confidence. They have a hard time acknowledging their actions and shortcomings and rarely apologize when they commit a wrong deed. In their minds, they are programmed to safe guard their egotistical personality by continuously putting others down. By changing up the story and safely exiting the situation, they convince themselves that they were right all along.

People who possess these traits are fragile beings. They might seem to be the most energetic and charismatic individuals on the exterior, but on the inside, they are weak. They are so mentally unstable that they don’t admit their flaws and errors and instead, they simply shift the blame on others to inflate their sense of self.

So remember my dear readers, that mistakes will happen from the best of us. We are by nature flawed, but what defines us truly is how we choose to mend our ties and fix the situation once the deed is done. In the end, we all are perfectly imperfect.