What you think about yourself is important as your thoughts feed into so many parts of your life.
The problems begin when you start doing negative mind-talking to yourself, it can eat away at your self-esteem until it is almost non-existent.
Low self-esteem can lead to conditions such as depression and anxiety which can affect how you live your life.
Here are some things you can do to prevent that.
Think about the source of the problem.
To solve a problem, we do have to face it whether we want to or not, trying to forget about it won’t make it go away.
Look at the source of the problem and go from there, perhaps some past events have made you doubt yourself or a negative life-event.
Recognize it for what it is and slowly work through your feelings on it. Was it a difficult relationship? Remember it takes two to have a relationship so don’t pile all the blame on yourself. Were you bullied, abused, lost a much-loved job? Step back and work through them with self-honesty it will help you see the problem much clearer and will help you begin to heal yourself.
Don’t criticize yourself.
We are our own worst critics, no one can ever be harsher on us, than us. Would you say the things you think to someone you love? No, you wouldn’t so why say them to yourself. Love yourself first! Getting into the mind step of self-love goes a long way to changing how we think about ourselves. Perhaps talk about how you see yourself with someone you can trust, to be honest, you’ll be surprised at how they see you and it’s not about seeking out someone to stroke your ego as some would say, it’s about asking for the truth and getting it.
Connect with people who love you.
With low self-esteem comes this need to bottle up our emotions and cut ourselves off from those we love. Perhaps you find yourself in a situation where time spent with some people is damaging you as they don’t appreciate you or treat you badly. Make an effort to avoid spending time with those people.
Make the time to spend with people who treat you right, are positive, fun outgoing people whose only wish is to see you happy. Who makes you feel good in your own skin, they are your tribe and they love you.
Learn how to be assertive.
Not as easy as it sounds when you have low self-esteem!
Even the thought of saying no to some people can bring some to a panic attack, and that tells you a lot about the person they need to say no to. Some start to shake, their voice shakes, they feel sick, but dammit you have to suffer through that and say no for your own sake.
Ask a trusted friend or family member if you can practice on them, or stand in front of the mirror and just say no. The more you say no the easier it gets, and as you assert yourself, your confidence will grow.
Try something new.
When you have low self-esteem you stick to the same old routine day after day as it feels safe, you’ve got to challenge yourself, you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone, you will really be glad you did, and when you’ve done it once the next time will be easier and so will the time after that, until one day you notice you are no longer stuck where you were and you have tried so many new things you feel vibrant and alive.
Take care of yourself.
This is crucial to your well-being and you may feel guilty about having time to yourself. Don’t! Give yourself a little treat, buy something at the mall, buy that cake you always wanted to try, see the movie that you know no-one else would like. Do what feeds you physically, mentally and spiritually.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
You won’t be able to everything on your own that is just a fact of life. It’s good to talk over your fears, thoughts and feelings with those closest to you, and making changes within your mindset takes time, you may even find you want professional help to do so and that’s okay.
All of this is a journey and it takes time it won’t all happen overnight, so if your brain starts mind talking to you, use your assertive learnings on yourself and tell it to shut up, you are a working progress and you are amazing.