There is nothing more traumatic in life than finding your ‘one and only’ in a person you can’t spend the rest of your life with. There is no hurt and despair greater than finding the person you truly love, but not able to call them your own. Whether it’s your best friend, a colleague or an acquaintance, we all have gone through the bitter experience of unrequited love; the love that we longed for so long only to have it taken from us.
While we might feel lost and confused after the emotional trauma, there is always a silver lining. Here are 10 effective ways for you to cope up not being able to love the one you want:
It’s natural to care for the one who you feel strongly about. It’s like we become hard-wired to be there for them whatever the situation is but learn to set limits for yourself. Know that your sanity comes first, and it’s better to avoid the deep waters when you don’t realize your limits.
Enjoy your time together
You need to be strong-willed and brave to have someone in your life who you know will never be more than a friend to you. It’s tempting and even exciting to obsess over them but try to enjoy their company and the value they bring to you instead of thinking over and over again about them in a way that it will never be.
Seek a hobby to keep yourself occupied
Instead of wasting your time and emotional energy on something useless, drive that passion towards something productive. Go to the gym, read a book, volunteer somewhere just keep yourself preoccupied.
Don’t revolve your whole universe around someone who won’t bring any value into your life. Remember that you have other areas in your life like your education, career, and your family who need your absolute attention. If their presence gets too daunting, perhaps it’s time to maintain a safe distance from them.
Establish a support system that works for you
When you can’t be with the one you love, it can get pretty lonely within. That’s when instead of seeking desolation, it’s important to engage family and peers alike to talk it over. It could make all the difference trust me.
Start dating other people
Now I’m not saying to keep moving from one relationship to another, it’s not healthy, but give your heart the chance to explore other possibilities. Instead of dwelling on the same person, be open to meeting and dating other individuals that add value to your life over time.
Limit your contact with them
When you feel that you are just sinking into deep despair and there is no way out, just start avoiding this person on a day to day basis. Now I know it’s not going to be easy, but small steps toward creating a boundary will make you feel better in the long run.
Give yourself some time to grieve
It is indeed a heart-wrenching experience to love someone and know that they can’t be yours. The thing about pain is that it demands to be felt and instead of hiding away, acknowledge the pain and sorrow and give yourself time to heal. Cry talk it out or seek isolation, but you must do something to bring yourself to terms with it.
Write down your feelings
There is something so therapeutic about pouring your heart out on paper. Whether it’s a letter titled to them or your personal diary, writing what you feel will provide the clarity and insight that you lacked to begin with.
Tell them how you feel
This can either turn out to be the best or the worst thing to do. So follow with caution but remember to go about it with zero expectations.