In Leaving Him I Learned To Love Myself

When you are with the right person, everything just seems to fall into place doesn’t it?

Yet when you are with the wrong person life becomes a living hell, that there seems no way out from.

No one deserves to be in a relationship where all you feel is fear, but sadly that seems to be more common than we first thought.

I stayed far too long in such a relationship and the price was very high indeed.

Yet there I was one day realizing that enough was enough and I found the courage I didn’t know I had to walk away.

I dated someone who made me lose my self-worth.

I stopped smiling, I stopped laughing why? Because he didn’t like it when I smiled as it meant I was happy and content in life.

Oh, he would say in the beginning that my smile lit up the room and it was one of the things he loved about me.

But once he had his claws into me and could manipulate me to his bidding my smiling had to stop.

I actually got to the stage where I couldn’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror!

I dated someone who made me lose my self-confidence

I lost all my self-confidence.

My carefree love of life and attitude seemed to disappear overnight.

I stopped knowing my worth, I felt worthless.

I dated someone I thought I knew.

I spent hours, no days, no months, convincing myself the man I fell in love with would return, we were just having a bad patch, oh, how wrong I was.

I dated someone who I didn’t even know who he was.

The man I met and fell in love with was nothing like who he really was, it was all an act to get me.

What he really was is a Narcissist.

He was nothing but a liar and a habitual one at that.

He cheated on me so many times I am so ashamed that I stayed as long as I did.

I found myself constantly making excuses for him and in the end began to ignore all he did wrong just to keep the peace.

I just wanted to see the best in him, reality there is no best in him.

I dated someone who made me question everyone.

It was because of him that I see no good in anyone.

I am suspicious of everyone and think everyone has bad intentions.

I dated someone who was incapable of loving anyone but themselves.

I believed that if I ignored all his wrongdoing and loved him as hard as I could that he would somehow love me back.

Yet the more I loved him, the worse he became.

He intentionally put me down at every opportunity.

I was in a ‘relationship’ yet so alone.

I dated someone who I let manipulate me.

He would ignore my calls, wipe his call history then accuse me of ignoring him and not calling him.

When I showed him, I had called he accused me of calling another number, another man and that he had caught me out cheating, classic projection, yet at the time I didn’t even know what projection was!

I even caught him out messaging a woman on Facebook, he said ‘she’s just a friend, what’s the problem, you’re crazy you know that?’

I was dating someone who was jealous of me.

He made me get rid of so many male friends as in his eyes a woman who has that many male friends must be a whore who has slept with them all.

I stopped smiling at everyone I would meet, as if I did, he would automatically start a barrage of abuse that I was sleeping with them.

I began to dread meeting anyone of the opposite sex as I knew it would start him off.

I dated someone who had to put others down to build himself up.

He was always critical of others.

No one was ever better than him.

He was and still is to my knowledge a serial relationship jumper, as despite his claims of I would be back, the day after I left, he was in a new relationship, all loved up over Facebook, I mean please how is that normal?

I feel sorry for her and any that come after her as I know what they are facing.

I dated someone who made me stronger.

I know this may sound like I was a pathetic woman allowing all that happened, but I’m far from it!

Because of him, I grew into someone I didn’t even know existed.

I’m empowered now.

I smile again, I laugh.

I spend time with my male friends again who luckily for me reinstated our friendship without a moment’s hesitation.

I will never again allow someone to dictate to me how to live my life and no one will ever bring me so low again that I lost who I was.

I learned to love myself by leaving him and if all this reminds you of what you are facing now, get up, leave, you will never regret finding yourself again.