We are taught from a very young age that being perfect is the aim in life, so being the competitive creatures we are, we try to run toward perfection. Our society teaches us that a perfect figure leads to a perfect life partner, which leads to a perfect job and ultimately, the perfect life. This is all nothing but nonsense.
We are being manipulated by social media to turn ourselves into someone we are not. We, usually being insecure, get blinded by the perfect models promoting beauty enhancing stuff, which we buy in a trance because we are so desperate to look a certain way, although it is ultimately possible to look content and pretty without patronizations.
I always hated the way I looked since childhood. I was obsessed with changing myself because my insecurities were greater than my self-esteem. My big ears and my body fat were the main reasons I was bullied in school. As a 90’s kid, I would be made to wear out of date clothes with a slick high ponytail and I would feel ashamed of my appearance.
In a nutshell, I was extremely self-conscious. I was always envious of the girls who had it all; the looks, the money, the clothes, the grades. They were better than me in every way possible. Models on the television adverts made me feel as if they were born with what they have, and they flaunted themselves beautifully. I always tried to make myself look and become like them, but I failed hopelessly. I fell into a pit of depression and outcasted myself because of not being able to look like them no matter how hard I tried.
As I got older, I only grew to be more insecure and envious of the models on TV and in the magazines. My insecurities led me to ruin my relationships with people because I was afraid to be myself in front of them. I would always put myself down. I craved happiness so badly and I didn’t realize that happiness doesn’t come from material things, like money, looks, etc.
One day I was getting ready for a hangout with my girlfriends. As I was trying on clothes, none of them flattered my body shape, and since I was going to see a guy I was really interested in, I wanted to look my best. After hours of trying on new clothes and changing, my friend got angry with me and started to hit me with the facts.
She urged me to try to accept myself as I am and that I was beyond the pessimistic opinions I had about myself and my average looks. These words shook me to the core. My best friend loved me for who I was so why can’t I? I then slowly started to like the not-so-perfect me. I started to respect my body and my figure because I realized how important it was to love myself before I can seek approval from anyone else.
I slowly started to stop thinking too much about my big ears and my body fat and I started to embrace them. I felt that they actually added beauty and uniqueness to myself. Sure enough, I stopped all the comparisons with other women. I minimized the amount of makeup I owned, I wore what made me feel comfortable, I started showing off my imperfect self because I was no longer afraid of people judging me. I would praise myself in front of the mirror.
These tiny changes made a huge change in my life, a very vibrant change, I must say. Humans are born imperfect and that’s what makes them so beautiful and distinct. You will only let your true self come forth when you discard the idea of a “perfect you” and start living life without the fear of seeking approval for who you really are.