This is how life could be if you find yourself in love with a Narcissist.
Psychology Today recently published an article claiming that less than 5% of the world’s population are full-blown Narcissists. That seems an extremely low percentage considering the high volume of people who have been victims of a Narcissistic relationship.
When you become aware of Narcissism it does make you wonder if the person you are in love with is a full-blown Narcissist or if they just have some Narcissistic tendencies.
Having a relationship with a full-blown Narcissist is quite simply impossible if you do decide to continue in the relationship you could be leaving yourself open to long-term abuse and a whole heap of pain.
A partnership with someone who has tendencies will have other behaviors too, which can be good ones, it is then a personal choice as to whether you continue in that relationship.
If you are in such a relationship where you are unsure what you are experiencing, then this article is for you.
The realities you will face are:
Accept the fact that you will never have a place in the relationship
If you are in a relationship with a Narcissist and want to make it work, then you will have to acknowledge that the relationship will never be about the both of you, it will be totally one-sided, the side of the Narcissist.
Do not expect anything from them. They are incapable of any kind of empathy to you and those around them. They are only out for what feeds them. Yes, they may show kind gestures now and then, but that is only because it serves their needs to do so.
A Narcissist is incapable of doing anything that would be good for their partners.
Stop trying to be the person your partner expects you to be
A Narcissists needs, and desire change all the time, daily, even hourly. No living soul can live up to the Narcissists expectations it is impossible to do so.
When the Narcissist looks at you, all they see is what they want to see. They then reflect that back into themselves.
They do this so that should other people then decide they do not like the Narcissist for whatever reason, such as appearance, attitude, lifestyle, the Narcissist will blame you for those failings.
They can’t accept blame or take responsibility for anything.
Do not blame yourself for your partner’s behavior
Do not accept their blame. It is their bad behavior, not yours.
It will be a cold day in hell before a Narcissist will accept responsibility for their behavior and they never apologize unless it is part of their strategy which therefore makes it an empty meaningless apology.
The narcissist will keep at you to break you down until you admit everything is your fault and you admit blame for things you haven’t even done.
Often victims will take the blame as a way to appease them and find a few moments of peace in what is normally a turbulent life.
Once your eyes open to what and who they are, you see the negativity they impose on your life, then that is the beginning of the end.
The Narcissist end game before they leave you for their next victim is to totally break you down. You cease to know which way is up and which way is down.
You doubt everything you think, memories are distorted by them convincing you it didn’t happen.
They lie about you to family, friends even co-workers. This is done so that when they leave, they can say ‘I just couldn’t cope with him/her anymore.’
They need you to be seen as the bad person in the relationship.
Loving a Narcissist will cause you deep continuous pain, survivors of a Narcissist find themselves having to seek professional help once they are away from the relationship.
If you are in this type of relationship, I hope this article has helped you, and that you find the strength one day to make the right decision for yourself.