Being in a relationship with someone suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is not easy. For the longest time, this person may have tortured you emotionally, physically and even mentally.
After years of suffering in vain, you finally muster the strength to convince yourself to kick them out of your life, which in itself is a huge personal achievement.
However, you still feel blown away with immense despair and depression and the darkest days of your life suddenly replay right in front of your eyes. You still feel stuck at one point in your life, unable to forget the past.
If you feel this way, you might be suffering from Narcissistic Victim Syndrome which has the following presentations:
Your sanity is questionable.
You might have been manipulated psychologically by your abuser into thinking you are responsible for your abuser’s behavior toward you, you are overreacting or just making things up. This is almost always associated with NVS, where people may feel out of tune with reality. They may start to questions their own perception and sanity.
The abuser tries his best to inflict total isolation on his victim, whether it be emotional, financial or social. This is their way of maintaining dominance over their victim, so you become completely dependent on them for even the smallest of needs. Even after cutting ties from the abuser, it can take years for a person to heal and open up to friends and family alike.
Lack of trust.
It is human nature to compare. Even after years of parting ways, you will still feel that every man you meet might take advantage of you and break your heart in the process. This creates a barrier for meaningful connections to prosper even with the right person.
Others come first.
As a victim, you spent years of putting your abuser before your needs, so much that you have completely forgotten what makes you happy. Once the partnership ends, you can still feel this immense pressure of always putting other people before you, thus completely disregarding yourself.
You Justify the abuser.
Its when you start making excuses and justify the abuser’s terrible behavior toward you. You think that you might be a savior for his emotional instability. You might even blame yourself for the horrible torture you have faced.
Depression and anxiety kick in.
A narcissistic person feeds off of draining their victims sense of self. They crush a persons spirit and will to live. Even after the abuse ends, a victim may feel hopeless about the future which results in depression and uncertainty of the present giving rise to anxiety.
You are never enough.
A narcissist will go to any lengths to demean you as a person. The constant taunts and insults eventually take a toll in making the victim realize that they are not worthy of achieving any happiness and success in life.
You become a people pleaser.
Your narcissistic abuser has caused you to over analyze every move you make to please them. This is a trait that you have now transferred to other people as well. By being conscious of every word you say or any action you take, its like you are constantly juggling to be vulnerable but not overdoing it while dealing with people. You strive for perfection, but don’t understand the true essence of relationships, which is vulnerability.