I overthink everything and anything, it drives me insane.
I’m the woman that you find yourself waiting hours for a reply to a text from because I’m overthinking what to write back.
I’m the woman who tells everyone I’m a night owl as I don’t want them to know I’m awake all night because my brain just won’t shut down and let me sleep.
I’m the woman who is always looking deeper into things than most and because of this, I find things to worry about that may not even be there.
I’m the woman who gets anxious when someone takes longer to answer a message I’ve sent as I start thinking I’ve done something to upset that person.
I’m the woman who notices every single change in either a voice tone or a tone of text message whether it’s real or not.
I’m the woman who is an extreme thinker and my brain is a constant hurricane of thoughts and worries.
I’m the woman who can’t cope with change, I dread a new job as then I will worry about whether I’m good enough or if I’ve learned the new job quick enough.
I’m the woman who will take forever to make the smallest and simplest decisions as I’m too busy thinking about a negative outcome.
I’m the woman who will automatically think my friend is mad at me as they didn’t answer my call and have not yet called me back.
I’m the woman who feels like life is drowning me and there is no hope for air.
Everything in my life is what ifs, what could happen, what could be, and this keeps me awake long into the night when most are cuddle up nice and warm asleep.
I see all my friends and family having utterly flawless happy lives and I can’t understand why I can’t have that too.
The reality is they don’t!
However, they don’t allow the little things in life to eat away at them as I do, they go with the flow and to be quite honest I’m jealous they can be like that.
I’m the woman that people say ‘calm down live your life, stop worrying all the time’ easily said than done.
I’m not exactly sure when all this started, but I think it was after my second child, suddenly I had two precious souls 100% dependant on me, and it terrified me.
I’m sure those around me thought I’d lost the plot and was on a fast train to crazy town.
I’m the woman who knows she has an overthinking problem and lives with it every single day.
I don’t expect people to understand, I am grateful to those that do understand me and make allowances.
Living like this is emotionally draining and as a result, I need constant support and love.
I hear myself being a total pain in the ass and tell myself to STFU!
I don’t mean to be like this, and I am finally in counselling in the hope that I can learn to be me again.
All I ask is please be patient with me.