Breakups are never fun. Yes, there are those few and far between ones that don’t get messy. But for the most part, they are one of the hardest things to navigate. When your brain and your heart are screaming different directives at you, what exactly should you do?? Luckily there are some easy guidelines you can follow to make the process just a little bit easier. Here are some of the most commonly made mistakes made during a breakup and quick tips on how to void them!
Seeking them out!
After a breakup, it’s common to feel a tremendous sense of loss. Your whole life is suddenly radically different. But don’t let that sway you into making those rash phone calls and texts.
Even though you’re the one who initiated the breakup, you’ll realize that the other person isn’t there for you anymore, which is coupled with sad thoughts and loneliness. Before you know it you find yourself wanting to reach out to your ex. Or even worse, meet up for one last go.
But do not fall into this trap. There’s a reason you left in the first place. Don’t text your ex, “you up?” at 1 a.m. You won’t be doing yourself any favors.
Go full-on NO contact and do not look back
The name should explain it all. No texting, calling, or messaging an ex after the breakup. That even includes their friends and family. It doesn’t have to be forever but for at least three weeks minimum. A clean break will help the emotional chaos settle
Don’t get me wrong, exes can be friends. However, not immediately after a breakup. Take time to reflect and get over the relationship. It will prevent the situation from escalating as it gives you a new perspective and time to heal.
Dating too soon
Finding someone new to pass the time with may seem tempting. But that doesn’t mean you should be getting into a new relationship. Your judgment is likely to be clouded so you may not pick the best person to start something new with. Not to mention you have not mourned the end of a significant part of your life, you’ve not healed from your past relationship.
It’s OK to feel like you’re taking a longer time getting over a relationship than your friend did. Each experience is unique, and it will be best for you not to compare your breakup experience. Focusing on why you aren’t there yet devalues your heartbreak. Letting yourself truly heal will smake the biggest difference going forward into your next relationship. But when you’re ready of course. Constant comparing and questions will only keep you in utter misery. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. Let healing take its course.
Social Media Stalking
There’s no hiding that social media can trigger grief and anger as you’re likely to come across memories of your past relationship. Just like the No Contact rule, restrict access to your ex’s social media.
At the very least, unfollow or block your ex to prevent reminders and notifications that will otherwise set you back.
It requires a lot of willpower, and you’ll often be tempted to “just check-in.” However, it is a slippery slope, and you’re only prolonging your healing process.
Breakups are brutal and confusing. Some part of you will want your ex back while another part wants to move on. Not to mention several occasions where emotions will override logic and all be jumbled together. Besides, emotional pain from heartbreak can run for weeks and even months. Therefore, it’s only right to avoid mistakes during post-breakup that will prolong your healing.