Once your relationship is done, it is done! Some people can and do stay friends after the relationship is over but that can be rare and whilst it works for a little while when one of the pair then starts a new relationship, problems can occur especially if the ex-partner isn’t ready to let go.
Often, the ex-partner gets a wake-up call when their ex starts dating again and wishes that they had done something different to keep the relationship alive, and they see what they have lost. This is when problems happen as they then try to get their ex-partner back, and that includes trying to mess with the new relationship their ex is in.
Some of the tactics used:
1. They text often
They send you text messages saying they need your advice about something and could you meet for coffee, or they will send a picture saying it reminded them of you and when you went on a certain date. The texts will become more frequent and this will cause friction in your new relationship especially if you do meet for that coffee and answer all their text messages, your new partner may even have the view you are keeping your ex as a back up plan and your new partner can become suspicious and jealous of the amount of contact you still have with your ex.
2. They show up unannounced
There’s a knock on the door and there is your ex-partner all smiling claiming they were just passing and wondered if you could have a catch up as its been a while. The real reason they are there is to a) hopefully get sight of your new partner, b) cause a little atmosphere, to say the least, c) let you know they still want you.
3. They stalk you on social media
If your ex is still on your social media accounts this is gold for them, they will like and comment on every single thing you post often referring back to when you both did something together. The pictures you post of just yourself they will get thirsty on but should you post pictures of yourself with your new partner they will be ignored. They want your new partner to see that they are still very much in your life, so be wise on this one, unfriend or restrict if you want any chance of your new relationship lasting.
4. They makes late-night urgent calls to you
They call you and say you are the only person they trust enough to confide in with some horrible news, they are looking to gain sympathy and a reaction from you. It won’t matter what time of night it is and that they woke you up or more to the point interrupted something, they just want to invade your space as much as possible making sure they are causing friction in your new relationship. Often if you call back the next day, they say ‘It’s all ok now’.
5. They use your friends to get to you
They use your friends to find out information about you and your new partner. Hopefully, your friends will see through this especially if you have been telling them how your ex has been contacting you and impacting your new relationship. Good friends tell your ex where they can go, so they rarely make contact with your inner circle it’s the ones on the fringes but still aware of most things going on they contact. They will also do some stalking to find out what they can about your new partner, and that is creepy as fuck.
These are not all the signs but the ones used the most, to be honest, their intentions may not even be to get back with you, but they are immature and take the view if they can’t have you no one can and that is a cause for concern.
Often, it is wise to break all contact with an ex when these things start to happen as they can escalate very quickly into a shit storm of drama that you and your new partner can do well without.
Leave the past where it belongs and that is in the past. Live for the here and now and what the future may bring you, enjoy the time getting to know the new person in your life.