It is hard to accept that the person you are with, the man who is supposed to love you is causing you harm and playing with your emotions, after all, if they love you, they wouldn’t abuse you, right?
Truth is they don’t love you and they are gaslighting you into believing they do.
The world is full of sick individuals who cause harm to others and get a real kick out of doing it.
They lie, steal and cheat their way through life and have no guilt at any time of the devastation they leave behind.
If you are unsure whether your partner is gaslighting you read the signs below:
1. You are often left feeling confused
They accuse you of being oversensitive, paranoid and crazy, they say it so many times you end up believing it. They tell you the only person you can trust is them as they are looking after you, ironically it is them that are the ones abusing you. If you feel unable to make any decisions without them and are often confused this is a classic sign that you are being gaslighted.
2. You are extremely insecure
You were once a happy go, lucky woman, confident in all you did and could make decisions about your life without a second thought. Now you are insecure about everything, nothing makes sense to you anymore and you leave even the most basic of decisions to your partner, an example being what to make for dinner. Your self-esteem has vanished and your life is now in his control.
3. You say that you are sorry all the time
Nothing you say or do is ever good enough so you are constantly apologizing. If dinner wasn’t quite as good as normal as you got side-tracked you apologize, if he is having a hard time at work, you feel it is your fault so apologize, damn girl, the weather isn’t what was forecast, you apologize. The guilt starts to eat away at you and you become depressed and then you end up apologizing for that too when the cause of you feeling like this is him.
4. You never make decisions
You aren’t allowed to make a decision at all. He tells you what to think, what to wear, how to act, what to even eat, you’re being controlled and you deserve a better life. The very act of being controlled by another goes against who you are as a person, it will eat away at you and leave you feeling a shadow of your former self.
5. You feel like you are walking on eggshells
If you are afraid of saying or doing the right thing and you fear they will lose their temper with you all the time you are being gaslighted. In a normal relationship you are free to say what you are thinking and feeling, if you are not able to do that then you are living in a toxic environment and they are controlling you through fear of the consequences of your actions. You become so anxious and stressed out you may even find yourself ceasing to talk for fear you may say something wrong.
6. You feel that you are not worthy
The problem with being gaslighted is the abuser uses and twists everything you say and do to their advantage. They convince you that you are not good enough, that you are one huge failure and they only put up with you as no one else would. You will find him repeating things back to you that you have said, but he will add other things in that you know you didn’t say, but he will tell you that you are remembering it wrong and that he is a saint for putting up with you.
If this all sounds familiar to you then know there is nothing wrong with you and you are being gaslighted and the only thing you can do for your own sake is end the relationship.