A narcissist will use whatever is available to them to control the person they want to abuse. For them, total control is their ultimate aim and they are very adept at what they do.
Listed as some of the more common tactics they use.
1. A narcissist will threaten their victim to intimidate them. They want you to cease thinking for yourself and only listen to what they have to say.
2. They will accuse you of allowing other people to treat you badly and claiming that you are allowing disrespect, whilst they are actually the ones doing the disrespect and bad treatment.
3. They will compliment you when you least expect it but the compliment is actually an insult and not praise.
4. They will take every opportunity to sabotage you as they can’t handle you being more successful than they are, to them they are the only ones who can excel at something.
5. They build this perfect image of themselves to people outside the relationship, to a stranger they look successful and flawless.
6. They will do whatever it takes to keep the perfect image of themselves alive, they will not think twice about walking over someone to keep the illusion alive.
7. They never take responsibility for anything that is wrong they will leave you to deal with the issue and once you have dealt with it, rip you apart as to everything they perceive that you did wrong and they could have done it so much better.
8. They never look at you as an individual, to them you are simply an extension of themselves, you are their property.
9. Fear is their weapon of choice; they use fear to control you.
10. Whenever something goes wrong, they will blame you and tell you that you clearly can’t cope with life and that is why they have to stay with you as without them you are nothing.
11. Vulnerability in you is not a plus in the eyes of a narcissist, they see it as one of your weaknesses and will use it against you.
12. Their confidence is not a façade as is often thought, they do believe they are the best of the best.
13. They will often blow up about past events with no warning and lay all the blame on you, they will tell it differently to what really happened and should you challenge this they will say you have forgotten as you are too emotional to remember the facts.
14. They purposely set traps for you to fall into and then they sweep in and rescue you from the situation thus making you believe if it wasn’t for them you’d be in a terrible mess.
15. They will intentionally hurt you leaving you wondering what on earth you did to cause their anger, they will then apologize which isn’t really an apology at all, it is a mind game to win you over.
16. They will never let an opportunity pass them by to humiliate you in a public setting.
17. They will threaten to break something precious to you or remove it altogether.
18. They will also humiliate you behind closed doors as every opportunity to do so will lower your self-confidence.
19. They have no idea how to control their emotions as they can’t connect with any emotions on any level.
20. They are constantly threatening to leave you, so you beg them to stay and force you to tell them you can’t live without them. It is worth noting that they use this tactic to gauge how far along with the damage they are doing to you is, or if you could finally be at the stage of telling them to go.
21. They work on you to convince you that you are unlovable and they are the only ones who will put up with you. The narcissist will have you believing that you are lucky they love you at all.
22. They will verbally abuse you at every opportunity especially if you don’t want to do something for them or with them.
23. The entire relationship is about control if they feel they do not have that control they will be relentless in their abuse until you submit to them.
24. When you finally see the relationship for what it truly is, they will up their game, each time you try and stand up to them they will become more vicious in their attacks upon you.
25. They have pulled you into their web of deceit and you will find it impossible to break free, they only let you leave on their terms as to leave without permission will cause them to start a full-on attack often by using a smear campaign.
26. They show you love and affection then rip it away from you leaving you asking yourself why they have done this and what did you do wrong.
27. They have complete control of the finances even if you are working yourself, they will even take control of any online banking facilities you have by forcing you to give them your passwords and they will monitor every single dime you spend.
28. They will constantly be investigating you behind your back, they do this to see if you are looking for a way out, an escape from them.
29. Every decision you make, they will second-guess., it is like they are in your head, and any decisions you do make they will question you and make you believe you have made a bad decision which could have been avoided if you had consulted them.
30. They will make you change yourself, your appearance, your clothes even what you eat, as you are not capable in their eyes of even making decisions on those basic acts.
31. They constantly tell you what is wrong with you, your teeth are too crooked, your nose is too big/small, anything to make you feel insecure about yourself.
32. Every little mistake you make will be a weapon used against you. You are not permitted to make mistakes as that reflects on them. Should you highlight to them a mistake they have made they will go into a rage.
33. If you decide the best course of action is to say nothing as then you can’t be accused of anything, they will do all they can to provoke a reaction from you.
34. They will never give you alone time, they will be in your face 24/7.
No-one likes to be controlled and like anything when someone has something done to them against their will they eventually revolt, this is then a signal to the narcissist to move onto another victim, but not before they have done as much damage to the person as possible and in a lot of cases the victim ends up needing professional help on their journey of recovery and as for the narcissist they don’t even look back unless it suits their purpose to do so.